Always Hurt
by blackcatmoonandstars
Summary: This story takes place right after the end of season 7. My main character is NOT Buffy, but she is in the story. Autumn is a new slayer, with a few other talents. She meets Spike and falls for him.
1. Chapter 1

I do not own Buffy or any of the characters. This story is focused on a new character I came up with that reflects some of my personality.

Chapter One

I had just put the closed sign up on the Magic Box for that night. I joined the rest of my friends, "The Scoobies," we called ourselves, as Xander had so cleverly named the group years ago. It had been a year since Sunnydale had been destroyed in the battle with The First. Buffy, Xander, Dawn, Willow, Giles, and Faith had all packed up and moved to Los Angelous to join Angel and Cordelia in their quest to keep fighting the forces of darkness. Well, I shouldn't say packed up, because after their homes were destroyed, I guess they didn't really have anything to pack...

I had met Willow and Buffy when they both started college again. I had already been practicing magic, which is how I met Willow. Giles had found out that when Willow had done her spell to make all potential slayers actual slayers, I as now one of them. Giles and Willow had opened up a new Magic Box in L.A. And I helped run the store, as well.

"Thank you, Autumn," Giles said, as I joined the rest of the group.

"So, anything new going on? Any new creatures or demons to fight?" Dawn asked enthusiastically.

Buffy glared at her younger sister, "Why do you sound so excited about possible danger?"

"Sorry. I've just been so bored lately. It's like, nothing has happened in weeks." She replied.

"Yeah, I guess after we survive and explosion of a whole town, everything else must seem pretty boring in comparison." Xander joked.

Suddenly I heard a loud bang come from the back door of the magic shop that made us all jump.

"What the fuck was that?" I gasped.

"Isn't that door locked?" Giles asked me.

"Xander said he was going to lock it for me..." I replied.

"Um..." Xander mumbled, looking guilty.

I pulled a stake out and headed to the back to see what was going on. I walked slowly around the back, not seeing anything yet, but I could sense something. Being a slayer, it was easier for me to sense a vampire around and this is what this felt like. I heard shuffling behind me and I spun around, throwing a punch without hesitating, but the person caught my wrist before I made contact with their face.

A very sexy man stood before me, still grasping my wrist. He was tall, muscular, bleached blonde hair, kind of looked like Billy Idol, only hotter. I studied him for a moment, considering what to do. Was he the vampire I sensed?

"Who are you?" I snapped.

"Who wants to know?" he responded slowly. English accent. The sexiest accent by far.

"You're a vampire." I replied, stupidly.

"And you're observant." He replied, sounding bored.

I raised my free hand with te stake in it, but he had reflexes like a damn cat and he grabbed my other wrist and shoved me against the wall. I winced as my back rammed into a shelf of magic shit that went crashing to the floor.

He got up close to my face, studying me, "Who are you? I would guess a slayer, but you're not as quick as any slayer I've ever known."

"I'm just..." I stammered.

"New to the job?" he cut in.

I felt my face grow flushed. It was true. I was still trying to get the hang of the whole slayer thing. I had always been a huge klutz. I still didn't understand why someone with as little grace that I had could be a slayer.

"Here's a tip. Don't try to play with the big kids if you're not ready." He whispered in my ear.

I tried to shove him off me, but his grasp on my wrists remained just as strong. I heard the door fling open again.

"Autumn, are you o..." Buffy had bounded into the room, but came to a halt at once.

Her and the hot vampire stared at one another for a moment.

"Spike?" she gasped.

"Spike?" I repeated, "You mean... THE Spike?" I though he was..."

"Dead," Buffy cut in, "Yeah, I thought so too..."

Spike finally let go of my wrists, "Well to be fair, I am still technically dead, but I'm not ashes anymore." He explained.

"Um... I'm just gonna..." I had realized neither one of them knew I was in the room anymore, so I slipped back into the main room of the magic shop to leave them to talk.

My back was pretty sore, which made me walk slowly back to the others.

"Everything okay?" Giles asked me.

"Oh, yeah. Just great. I just got attached by William the Bloody. How may people can say that and live to tell the tale?" I replied, wincing as I sat at the table with everyone else.

"What?!" Willow gasped.

"Spike?" Dawn asked.

I nodded.

"But Spike's dead." Xander said.

"Yeah, well, he's not now." I replied.

"Are you sure?" Giles asked.

"I know I'm a crappy slayer compared to Buffy, but I'm not completely incompetent." I snapped.

"Sorry; that's not what I was..."

"I know. It's okay. My back just hurts now and it's making me bitchy." I explained, feeling bad for snapping at Giles, "I left him and Buffy in the back to talk... or whatever."

"Well, if he attached you, then he must be evil again." Xander said standing up, and starting to walk toward the back.

Buffy appeared at the moment.

"Buff, you okay? Autumn said Spikes back..." Xander said.

"Yeah," she replied quietly, "He, um... it's hard to explain, but yearh, he's back. He just left."

"Are you okay?" Willow asked her again.

"Yeah, I just, I think I'm going to call it a night..." she said, "Come on, Dawn."

"But... weren't we supposed to have a meeting?" I cut in.

"Yeah... talk about the latest big bad?" Xander added.

"There isn't anything. Meeting adjourned," She replied, then grabbed Dawn's arm and walked out of the shop.

"Seriously? Why am I even here, then?" I complained.

"Don't we need someone to at least patrol? To make sure the badness stays away?" Willow asked.

I stood up and winced again at my now throbbing back pain, "I will."

I was met with three looks of uncertainty, "What?" I snapped.

"Um, Autumn... maybe that's not such a good idea. You're obviously injured." Giles said.

"Yeah, injured and useless as a slayer. I know." I mumbled.

"You could take Xander with you..." Giles started to say.

"Xander?! You're having Xander take care of me? Now I know you think I'm incompetent!"

"Hey! Sitting here! Sitting right exactly here!" Xander cried, angrily.

"I'm sorry, Xander. I just... look, I know it's been hard for me to transition into this whole slayer thing. I know I'm clumsy and no where near where Buffy is, but with more training, and maybe if I can actually patrol and fight..."

"And you will, but not tonight. Not with your injury. Go home. Put ice on your back, and we'll see how you feel tomorrow." Giles said sternly.

I stomped off angrily... well... more like hobbled off...


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

So, I went patrolling anyway. Yeah, I know. I'm fucking stubborn. Walking (well, hobbling), along in the graveyard, I spotted a pair of yellow eyes glowing in the dark. I stopped, but was only scared for a split second, until I realized the pair of yellow eyes belonged to a black cat sitting on top of a grave stone.

"Mr. Naughty. You followed me?" I sent him the thought."

Yes, I can talk to animals. Not out loud... more like in my mind. I send messages back and fourth with them with my mind and theirs. No, I don't know of anyone else who can do it.

"Don't flatter yourself, human. I needed to do some hunting, myself." He sent back, yawning and stretching lazily

"So, after I told you I was going patrolling with a bad back, you just happened to show up in the graveyard to hunt? Perhaps you think I'm useless like everyone else does?" I snapped, angrily.

Mr. Naughty yawned again, "Please. Your human emotions are dramatic and irritating." I watched his beautiful, black tail flick back and forth irritably.

I sighed and decided not to respond. I continued to hobble through the graves, keeping a lookout for any possible vampire or demons, also watching Mr. Naughty weave in between graves in search of a stray field mouse. After a little while, my back started to throb worse than ever. I leaned against one of the taller graves, setting my stake down for a moment, and rubbing my sore back.

All of a sudden, I felt someone wrap their arms around me, binding my arms tightly to my chest, and I saw my own stake coming towards my chest. I started to cry out, but their hand moved over my mouth, cutting off the sound. This was it... I was dead.

Only... nothing happened for a moment. The person stood with the stake pressed against my chest. I knew instantly it was a vampire because I also felt teeth resting against my neck, waiting to pierce the skin. Then I was shoved hard away from them, and I hit the grave I had been leaning on earlier, bounced off, and fell to the ground, in even more pain than I already had been in.

I laid waiting to be grabbed and thrown again, but nothing happened... excpet I heard a familiar voice...an English accent, "Awful. Lazy. Stupid... and you wouldn't even fight back. You obviously want to die."

I raised my head up to take a look at my attacker. Spike. I panicked for a moment and looked around to see if maybe he had dropped my stake, but I realized he was still holding it. I started to try to pick myself up, which was hard since I was in so much pain, but once I had stood halfway up, he shoved me hard again, and I fell once more. He stood over me, while I backed against a grave, knowing I was no match for him.

And again, instead of killing me, he stood there starting at me and shaking his head.

"Are you evil again?" I finally found my voice.

"What?" He snapped.

"You heard me. I thought you had a soul. Did you lose it? Is that how you came back? Or did you have sex with Buffy and lose it that way?" I asked.

As soon as I said the sex with Buffy thing, he didn't look irritated anymore... he looked furious. He grabbed me by the coat I was wearing and pulled me up to my feet while I protested weakly. Once more, I was being shoved against the grave harder than ever and I fell face down in the grass and leaves, my whole body aching. I could hear him standing over me breathing hard. But this was odd. If he was evil, why didn't he just kill me instead of getting angry at the mention of his former lover and throwing me around? I lifted my head again to look at his angry face.

"Why don't you just kill me?" I asked him outright.

His face softened a bit, "I was right. You do want to die."

He held his hand out to me. I looked at him like he had grown three heads, "Seriously? You just threw me around like a rag doll, and now you want to help me up so you can do it again?"

"I'm not." he looked at me sincerely.. Why did I suddenly trust him when he said it? I slowly took his hand and he gently helped me up.

"Then what the fuck was all that? Is that how vampires say hello?" I snapped, as he helped me to a bench nearby to sit for a moment.

"I was proving a point." He replied.

He took a silver lighter out of the pocket of his black jeans and lit a cigarette in his mouth. He took a long drag on it while I studied him for a moment. He was wearing all black; a tight black t-shirt that exposed his very muscular arms, those black jeans, and his nails were even painted black. I studied his face too, which was extremely easy on the eyes... incredible bone structure and a scar on his left eyebrow, "What's your name, anyway?"

"Autumn."

"Pretty. I'm Spike."

"I know. So... you were trying to prove a point with throwing me around?" I asked.

"Yes. What kind of slayer goes to a graveyard along while injured, sets her stake down, and completely lets her guard down without thinking about the demons that could be lurking around?" He asked heatedly.

I shrugged, looking down, "A stupid one?"

"A DEAD one." He corrected.

I shrugged again, still not looking at him.

"You DO want to die." he stated.

"I do not! I just..."

"Just what?! Are completely incompetent?"

I stood up angrily, "I don't have to explain myself to you!"

"No, you don't," He paused, "but you're going to anyway."

I sighed and sat back down next to him.

"Yes. I'm incompetent. I'm stupid..."

"Oh, come on..."

"You said it yourself!" I cried.

"I was just trying to get a rise out of you! And it didn't seem to work. You wouldn't even fight back." He explained.

"Because I know I can't!" I exclaimed. He looked confused, so I went on, "I mean... I'm not Buffy."

A look of softness passed briefly over his face at the mention of Buffy's name, and for some reason, it irritated me even more.

"I'm supposed to be a slayer, but I'm no where near as good. I do stupid things and I'm clumsy. Giles used to train with me and I was so bad, he kind of avoids it now. And the way the others look at me... especially Buffy," I said shaking my head, "As nice as she has been to me, I can't help but feel like she thinks she's better than me. She's like a graceful...cat. And I'm like... her adopted monkey cousin." Spike actually chuckled at this and I went on, "And so, since they gave up on me..."

"You gave up on you, too." Spike finished for me.

"Yeah," I replied, looking away, feeling ashamed.

'Well, as I'm sure you already know, I've been in love with Buffy..." He started.

I rolled my eyes, "Yeah, the whole world is..." The harshness of my words shocked even me.

Spike simply chose to ignore my comment, "I just mean that you're right. I loved her, but I could see everything about her; Her good qualities and the bad. And I think anyone would agree Buffy has a superiority complex. I always thought that was just part of being a slayer but... after meeting you, I've been proved wrong."

At that moment Mr. Naughty appeared out of nowhere and leaped in my lap.

"I'm cold and tired. Let's go home, human." He sent.

I stroked him and sent, "And where were you when I was getting attacked?"

He looked at me with his deep, yellow eyes, "And what could I have done to a vampire? Scratched him before he snapped my body in half?"

"Is that your cat?" Spike asked, studying us both. He must have been a little confused since I had gone suddenly silent and it looked like I was locked in a staring contest with a random cat.

Mr. Naughty hissed and leaped down, "Tell the ass-hole vampire that no one 'owns' me. I'm going home with or without you. He snapped and took off.

I couldn't help but giggle to myself.

"Did he just hiss at me?" Spike asked, slightly surprised.

I nodded, "Yes. He told me to tell you that you're and ass-hold and nobody owns him."

Spike suddenly looked even more shocked, "What? Are you joking or..."

I shook my head, grinning, "It's not a common talent, but yes, I can telepathically speak to animals. And you just met the wrath of Mr. Naughty." I explained.

"Bloody hell..." He mumbled, putting out the cigarette he had been puffing on and tossing it on the ground nearby.

"I'm not crazy, I swear." I said, quickly.

"No, I believe you. You're talking to someone who lived on the mouth of hell for years."

"Someone who closed the mouth of hell and selflessly saved the world, the way I hear it." I said.

Spike was taken aback, "Yeah, well..."

I laughed, "I think I almost saw a vampire blush," I joked.

He grinned and stood up, offering me his hand again, "Can I walk you home? There may be a few beasties between here and there."

"Sure," I replied, taking his hand and letting him help me up.

We walked in silence for a little bit. Spike had to walk slower because I was basically limping the whole way.

"Look, I know this might be a weird suggestion coming from someone who just kicked the crap out of you..." Spike started.

"Kicked the crap out of me? That's kind of a strong description."

"Is it?"

"Shoved around maybe..." I joked.

He grinned, "Fine. Shoved around. Would you maybe want a little help... with training?"

I stopped at the door to my apartment. Mr. Naughty was sitting there waiting to be let in. He was glaring at us both, "The vampire isn't coming in, is he?" He snapped.

"No, he's not."

"Then hurry up and open the door. It's fucking cold out here, human."

I cracked the door open and he ran inside with a loud meow of anger. I shut the door and remained outside with Spike to talk.

"Help? With training? You mean you? I asked.

He shrugged, "Yeah, it's not like I have a whole lot to do. I usually occupy my time killing other vampires and demons, but they seem to be pretty scarce lately. However, I don't expect it to stay that way for long."

I considered him for a moment, "Is this a way to try to see Buffy more often?" the words spilled out of my mouth before I could stop them.

He suddenly looked angry again, "What? No! I was actually offering my sincere help, but I can see it's not appreciated." He started to walk off.

"No, wait! Spike!" I cried, grabbing his arm.

He easily shoved me off, but he wasn't trying to walk away anymore.

"I'm sorry. That was stupid of me to ask. If the offer still stands, I would like for you to help me train."

He softened again, "Okay We can, uh, do it in my crypt."

I looked at him, shocked for a second because it sounded like he could be talking about sex. I knew he wasn't, but it made me grin a little.

"Uh, I mean training. Training in my crypt. It's...it's pretty big..." I grinned again, "I mean... it's spacious." I just nodded and let him stumble over his words,"Uh, and sorry about injuring you. Your back, and the limp... and whatever else..."

"It's okay. The only two times I've been around you I've been injured. Maybe I should get used to being hurt by you somehow every time I see you." I joked.

He grinned, "I'll try to be gentle."

"That's what she said," I joked again.

This time he laughed, "Gotta love a girl with a good sense of humor. Don't come across that too often anymore," He said, grinning, moving closer to me.

I realized how close he was, his face only inches from mine. It made me appreciate how good looking he was. Too bad his heart already belonged to Buffy. The thought made me bitter again.

"Well, I'm glad I'm good at something... making a vampire laugh."

He was starting into my eyes like he had stopped listening to me.

"Spike?"

He stood up straighter and backed away from me a bit, "Uh, right. Well, I"m going to go. Goodnight, Autumn."

"Goodnight, Spike." I called, watching him walk away into the darkness.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

A few days had gone by, and I hadn't seen or heard from Spike. I had no idea where his crypt was, and he had never said when would be a good time for him to start training sessions. He obviously knew where I worked and lived so I figured he would find me if he still wanted to help me. I was starting to feel like maybe he hadn't been serious about his offer after all.

One night after the magic shop closed, Buffy had us all meet to discuss a group of demons she had run into. As I saw myself at our table between Willow and Xander, Buffy spoke up, "Almost everyone is here, we're just waiting on Spike."

At the mention of his name, I choked on the coffee I had just gulped down, "Spike?" I tried to ask casually.

"Yeah, he came to my house last night..."

"He was at your house?!" I spit out before I could stop myself.

So, he had time to go see her, but not me. How surprising.

"Yes...why?" Buffy said slowly, looking confused.

I shook my head, "Oh, nothing... nothing." I mumbled, but I noticed Willow and Xander looking at me funny.

Spike arrived only a few moments later, "Sorry," He apologized, "Over slept." His eyes scanned the room and stopped when they met my own. He held the gaze for what seemed like an eternity for me, but was actually probably just a couple of seconds, until I tore my eyes away, feeling myself flush. Why was I acting this way?

"It's fine. We can get started now." Buffy went on.

I felt Willow and Xander looking at me again as Spike crossed the room and came to stand directly behind me, his hands resting on the back of my chair. I don't think I really heard much of what Buffy was saying. All I could really think about was the hot vampire standing so close to me. And why was he all about visiting Buffy and not even keeping his promise to help me train? He still loved her, that's why. Why would he stop just because he died briefly? He didn't even know me. He had no obligation to me.

After the meeting, we all stood up to leave. Spike grabbed my hand as I started to walk towards the door, "Hang on a second," He whispered close to my ear.. I nodded, but Buffy approached us.

"Spike, you got a second?" She asked.

Spike glanced at me, and I nodded again. She seemed to notice this small exchange, "Oh, Autumn, an you excuse us a second?" she said to me. It didn't sound like a question, it sounded more like a statement.

I felt irritated. She acted like I was interrupting something, when it was the other way around. I didn't reply because I knew my words weren't going to be very friendly. I turned and walked a few feet away to grab my coat. After a few minutes, I realized their private conversation was going to take a while and it would look weird with me just standing there staring at them while they talked. So, I just went ahead and left and walked home. I wasn't sure why, but I was suddenly in a really foul mood. I walked in my apartment and slammed the door, took off my scarf and coat, threw them on the floor, and flopped face down on the couch.

"Greetings, human," came Mr. Naughty's familiar, stoic voice in my head.

I didn't look up, but kept my head buried in the couch cushion, "I have a name, you know," I sent to him, irritably.

I heard him hiss, "I can tell you are in one of your irritating human moods."

"I'm so sorry to bug you with my inconvenient emotions," I snapped.

"I'm hungry. Feed me." he tried to ignore my growing anger.

"You're so smart. Feed yourself."

He hissed again, "I would, but I do not have opposable thumbs to pick up the bag of food."

I groaned and pulled myself off the couch. I grabbed the bag of cat food and poured some in Mr. Naughty's bowl. I watched him eat for a minute, the sent, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to take my irritation out on you."

"I know," He said, simply.

I rolled my eyes. I knew that was the best I could get from him. He certainly wouldn't apologize for being pissy right back. At that moment, I heard a knock on my door. I looked out the peephole. It's always best to be safe since a demon or vampire could show up at your door anytime. And I was right. A vampire.

I opened the door slowly, "Spike?"

"Hey," He greeted, "You left."

"Yeah, I figured you would be with Buffy for a while," I explained.

"No, she was just..."

"It's okay. You don't have to tell me," I interrupted. I really just didn't want to know, "So what's up?"

"I, uh, just wanted to see if you still wanted help. With training. I've spend the past few days moving things around my crypt, making sure we have a good space to get started. If you still want to." He said.

"Oh, yeah, sure. I almost though you had forgot about me."

"No, definitely not," He said quickly, then added, "I mean, I didn't forget. I promised to help you.

I nodded.

"So, when did you want to get started?" He asked.

"Anytime is fine."

"You free tonight?" he asked.

"Yeah, sure. Let me change really quick."

Training with Spike was hard. I had always heard what a great fighter he was in his pre-soul days. He had killed thousands of people in his vamp lifetime including two slayers. Now, as I laid on the floor, clutching the side of my bruised face and gasping for air, I knew why.

"You okay?" he asked, grinning sheepishly as he stood over me.

"Fucking fantastic," I replied, irritably.

We had decided on a basic routine We would start with warm up and stretching. Then, he would teach me different moves and try to perfect them. Then, the session would end with us straight up fighting each other. He said it would be a good way to see if I was progressing with each session. We had just finished the last part, which, embarrassingly, didn't last long at all. Of course, I had been nervous. I threw the first punch tentatively and weakly. He caught my fist and yanked me twoard him, spun me around, and held my arm behind my back, pushing it upwards while I cried out in pain.

"Stop me, don't just stand there whining!" He yelled.

I stomped on his food. I know it didn't hurt; I think he was just surprised at the stupidity of it and he let go. I turned around and kicked. He caught my leg and shoved me away. I fell to the flor, but got up quickly. The bored look on his face made me angry. I tried punching again, but missed, and his fist connected with my face, which sent me to the floor again wit ha bruise to my face and my ego. This seemed to signify the end of the fight.

Spike held out his hand and I took it. He led me to his couch. I sat for a moment feeling like an idiot until he sat beside me and handed me and ice pack.

"Sorry again," He said, still looking sheepish and not so sorry.

"Yeah. You look like you are," I said sarcastically, resting the ice against my swollen jaw.

He smirked, "So how did you come to meet Buffy and the Scooby gang?"

"I've lived here in LA my whole life. I started going to the community college here in town and I met Willow in a Wicca group." I started to explain.

His expression looked a little shocked, "Oh. You're a witch. You and Willow...together."

"Yeah...oh!" I realized what he meant and suddenly understood his shocked look. I started to laugh, "I'm not gay."

He looked embarrassed, "I didn't think..."

"Yes, you did. It's okay. Will and I are just friends. She sensed something about me and when I told her how I had felt different and stronger recently, she realized I was a slayer because of that spell she cast before. So she introduced me to Buffy and the gang. Now I help them and help run the magic shop." I explained.

He reached up and took my ice pack from me for a moment, his cold fingers brushed my own.

"Let me see how it's looking,"He said, gently. He stroked my jaw gently for a second and I flinched, "Sorry," he mumbled, 'Looks like it's still going to swell a bit more."

"Like I said before... every time I see you, you hurt me somehow." I joked.

He grinned, "I'll try not to make it a habit."

He continued to genly stroke my bruised jaw with his cold thumb for a moment, absentmindedly as he gazed at me, "Your eyes..." he mumbled

"What? Do I have a black eye, too? Wouldn't surprise me..."

He chuckled, "No. I was just going to say, your eyes are such a bright blue. Like 2 big marbles...so beautiful."

I felt my face grow hot, and Spike's expression changed as he quickly took his hand away from my face.

He cleared his throat nervously and changed the subject, "Well, I would like to do these traning sessions 5 times a week. If you are able to."

I nodded, "I think I can manage that."

I started to stand up, and I grabbed my coat.

"Oh, you're leaving?" He asked, almost looking disappointed.

"Oh, yeah... I thought our training session was over." I replied.

"Yeah, it is. I just... I thought you might like to stay and have a beer with me...if you want. I do owe you, since I gave you a bruised jaw." He said.

"And a hurt back, various bruises..." I added.

He laughed, "Okay, then... more than one beer. What do you say?"

"Uh, yeah! Sure!" I agree a little too enthusiastically, "I mean... that's cool."

He grinned and stood up. He took my coat from me and laid it on the back of the couch again. He then grabbed both of my hands and led me back to my seat on the couch. He walked to the fridge, and came back with two beers, handing me one.

"Thanks," I said, popping the top off.

Spike looked surprised again, "You don't see too many girls do that. I was about to offer to open that for you."

I took a large gulp of my beer and laughed, "Oh, I'm no rookie when it comes to beer."

He grinned, "Cheers.," he said holding his bottle out as I clinked mine against his.

He picked up the remmote and turned the TV on. He flipped the channels around for a few moments and stopped on a girl running around and screaming.

"You like scary movies?" He asked, propping his feet kup on the coffee table and taking a swig from his beer.

"I love them!" I replied.

"Really?" He looked surprised again, "Most girls hate them. Or find them too scary."

"I like being a little scared...but it takes a really good movie to scare me. When it comes to horror movies, there's a fine line between really awesome and scary... or completely stupid and cheesy." I explained.

"Exactly! But, as a vampire, I'm obviously hard to scare. I mostly watch them to make fun of the stupid situations people get themselves in."

"So, what's this one called?" I asked, point to the TV screen and propping my feet up next to his.

"Dracula."

"Is there a real Dracula?" I asked.

Spike sighed and rolled his eyes, "Yes. Stupid git. He's not that great. All show. Lots of flashy gypsy stuff that gets the ladies all fired up."

I giggle, "Do you know him?"

"Yeah, but we don't get along very well."

"I had guess that much. I bet you're pretty popular with the ladies, as well..." I said, playfully.

He took another swig of his beer, "Me? Not so much," He replied grinning, "What makes you think that?"

"Come on! You're good looking, charming, funny..." as soon as the words came out of my mouth, I felt stupid, and wished I could take them back. What was in that beer? I felt my face turn red and I looked hard at the TV hoping maybe he hadn't heard me.

He laughed, "Really? You think so?"

"Um, just an observation," I mumbled into my bottle.

"Now look who's turning red!"

"I just... I..." I grasped at strings to find some way to redeem myself.

"What about you? You're beautiful, smart, funny. Don't you have a man you should be curling up in bed with tonight?"

I choked on my beverage, "You're kidding, right? Mr. Naughty is the only male in my bed." I saw the confused look on Spike's face and I said quickly, "I know that sounded gross... I didn't mean it like that..."

He laughed, "I know. So nobody?"

"Nobody. I've only been in two real relationships and both wanted to control and change me. I'm not wasting another second on someone who doesn't like me for me." I explained.

"Why on earth would they want to change you?" He asked incredulously.

I shrugged, "I'm not very outspoken. I don't like to speak just to hear myself talk. If I have something to say, I feel it's worth saying. I don't go out and party with strangers. They thought I was weird because I would rather stay at home and read with a cat. They thought I was lazy because I don't want a miserable job just to make a lot of money. They thought it was stupid I'm going to school for art. I know I'm not going to make a career out of it, but I love doing it."

Spike shook his head.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to babble on like that. I don't usually unless I'm talking to someone I really like or trust." I admitted.

"You're not babbling. I'm just shocked that anyone would want to change you. I've only known you for a few days and I can see you... your soul is pure and beautiful. You are perfect, Autumn." He told me.

I felt my cheeks burning again. I didn't know what to say. No one had ever called me perfect before. And this man looked like he meant it.

Before I could think of how to respond, he continued, "I, myself, have only been in a handful of relationships. I know, hard to believe coming from a man who has lived well over 100 years."

I laughed, "Drusilla. I know about her and how that ended. And... Harmony!" I started laughing, thinking of him being with that ditsy idiot.

"Hey! Hey! I try to pretend that never happened and here you are mocking me about it!" He said, but he was grinning.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'll stop," I replied, holding back further laughter, "What about..." I stopped, not sure if I should bring up such a sensitive, and very recent subject.

"Buffy?" he finished for me.

I nodded.

"What do you already know? He asked.

"I know you loved her. Even when you didn't have a soul. I know she rejected you right away. Then after she died and came back, you were the one person she told about being in Heaven. Then she used you after that. Then you got your soul...for her. And things go better between you two. But then you..." I trailed off.

"Died." He finished for me.

"And now you're back. How and why... that I don't know."

"Yeah, well, neither do I... not so much. That is a story for another night. And it's not even as interesting as you think it would be," he said, grinning.

I laughed, "Well, I don't think I want to question it. I'm just glad it happened."

"Me too." He replied. He was looking at me that same way he had the night we first met standing outside my door; as if he was in deep thought, starting into my eyes.

And just as suddenly, he came out of it again, "Want another beer?"

"Definitely." I replied.

He too my empty bottle with him as he went to the fridge, "You know, I wish I had some food or snacks to offer you, but unfortunately, all I have is blood. Unless you want some of that..." He joked.

I made a face, "No, thank you. Hey! You could make a real Bloody Mary with that! I joked.

He laughed, "Good one," He said, handing me another beer and plopping down on the couch. Was he sitting even closer to me now? Was it on purpose?

"They used to make these onion things at the bronze in Sunnydale," he said.

"A blooming Onion?"

"Yes, but they took it right off the sodding menu!" he complained.

"Are you kidding? I fucking love those things!" I said.

"Me too!" we both laughed, "But I learned to make it after that." he told me.

"Really? How?"

"Oh, I uh... killed the chef... but not before forcing him to tell me how to cook it..."

I giggled, "That's awesome!"

"Really? You think that's awesome that I killed a guy for a recipe?"

I shrugged, "You didn't have a soul then... and it makes a great story. I'm a little morbid, so I laugh at things like that."

"Autumn, you ARE the perfect girl. Cheers." He said, as we clinked beers.


	4. Chapter 4

***I know not much happens in this chapter, but I am typing up the next one and it should be up by tomorrow night, and lots more stuff happens.****

Chapter Four

It didn't take too long for Spike and I to bond. We spent the next few days training and hanging out. In the same week, I got a call from Willow, saying that Buffy was holding a meeting at the Magic shop at 5:00pm for something important.

"Fuck me. Why couldn't Buffy just text me herself? I know we're not the closest friends, but this isn't fucking high school." I mumbled to myself.

"You have strong language, human." Mr. Naughty commented.

He was curled up beside me in bed.

"Don't act like you're offended. I've heard you say worse things." I pointed out.

"I'm not offended. I'm amused."

"Really? It's hard to tell. You don't exactly have a huge range of emotions. It's mostly stoic, bored, and pisssy."

"Funny, human." Naughty yawned and fell back asleep.

I arrived at the magic shop about a quarter til 5 that evening. Everyone else was there except Xander and Spike.

"Hey, Autumn!" Willow greeted.

"Hey, Will."

"Uh, what happened to your jaw?" She asked me.

I absentmindedly touched the bruise left from Spike's training session a few days before, "Uh, just fell. You know how clumsy I am," I lied.

I didn't really want to brag about the fact I needed extra training sessions from Spike because I was such a shitty slayer. And I wasn't sure Spike wanted anyone to know either. People might think more than training was going on, and I didn't know how Buffy felt about Spike... and vise versa.

Xander and Spike walked in the shop at the same time. Spike's eyes met my own right away and he smiled warmly at me. I suddenly felt a little hot and nervous. He walked straight over to me.

"Okay, let's go ahead and get started." I heard Buffy's voice, as I continued to stare at Spike.

Willow, Dawn, and Xander took seats at the table. Giles stood beside Buffy. Spike and I remained standing behind the table, both leaning against an empty self. He stood extremely close to me, our arms touching.

Buffy started to talk and I tried to listen, but Spike leaned over and placed his hand on my bruised jaw. His touch made me gasp.

"Just checking out the damage," He whispered, "Looks almost worse today."

"It will get worse before it gets better. And it probably won't be the last bruise I get from you." I joked.

He chuckled. I tried to turn my attention back to Buffy, who seemed to stare irritably at Spike and I as she spoke.

"I've heard from a reliable source that there is a huge nest of demons in a cave just a few miles from here," she was saying, "Apparently, they are not just random demons looking for a place to hide. They are extremely intelligent and strong. They have an agenda. They are planning something."

"Like what?" Dawn asked.

"I'm not entirely sure yet, but I'd like to find out. I say we go tonight." She went on.

Spike leaned closer to me and whispered, "Damn. I was hoping for another beer and 'Passions' marathon with you tonight."

I giggled.

Buffy cleared her throat irritably, "Autumn, Spike... is there something funny?"

Embarrassed, I shook my head.

"Please, continue," Spike replied, unfazed.

"This is serious, guys. Giles, Xander, Will, and Spike...the five of us will go check it out."

"Hey!" Dawn and I both cried out in protest.

"I'm sorry, I just don't think you two are ready for this kind of mission." Buffy said. She didn't sound very sorry.

"I can so! I killed a bunch of uber vamps!" Dawn exclaimed.

"She has a point." Xander said.

"And I'm not completely useless like you think I am..." I said, angrily.

"Come on, Buff. Give her a chance. She's not going to learn by being left out of things like this." Spike pointed out.

Buffy looked furious, "Fine. But I'm not babysitting anyone."

She walked away, signifying the end of the meeting. Angrily, I stalked off. I walked outside, slamming the door behind me, nearly jarring the bell off its hook above the door. I sat on a bench just outside the shop, trying to calm down. I heard the tinkle of the bell again as someone walked outside to join me.

"You okay?" I heard Spike's voice as he sat next to me. He lit a cigarette as he waited for my response.

I shook my head, "I can't talk about this with you."

"Why not?" He asked, taking a drag from his cig.

"It will just piss you off... I'm about to say some pretty bad things about your girl..." I said, shaking with anger.

He grabbed my shoulders roughly and forced me to face him. He looked made, "Okay, first of all, Buffy is NOT my 'girl.' Second of all, even if she was, if she's being an unreasonable bitch, I would agree she was an unreasonable bitch. Third of all, you're my friend, Autumn. You got a problem, I'm going to listen. Whether you like it or not."

I sighed, "Fine. What the fuck is her problem? Not going to BABYSIT anyone?! Seriously? And even before that... her singling you and I out...like we're fucking CHILDREN! What did I ever do to her?" I vented. "And it's not just her, " I went on, "I'm tired of being thought of as pathetic and useless. It fucking pisses me off, Spike."

"You're not useless or pathetic, Autumn..." Spike started.

"Oh, yeah? Is that why I have this huge bruise on my jaw? I didn't even last 2 minutes in our training fight that first night before you took me down." I pointed out.

He sighed, "It's going to take some time." I rolled my eyes, but he went on, "Plus... you were fighting the greatest vampire ever." He joked.

I couldn't help but smile, "The Champion of the people. You are right. I almost forgot."

He grinned, "I love to see you smile."

"Well, it's hard not to when I'm around you..." I admitted, avoiding his eyes.

He smiled, "Well, time to head back in, I think," He said, standing up and offering his hand.

I took it and he led me back inside.


	5. Chapter 5

**FYI I do like the character Buffy, even though she seems kind of bitchy in this story. I guess the only thing I didn't like about the character in the series was the way she treated Spike and I guess my feelings about that are really coming out in my writing. Lol sorry! Anyway, here's another chapter!**

Chapter Five

About an hour later after the argument in the magic shop with Buffy, I found myself along with everyone else waiting/hiding outside of a cave.

"Maybe we need a better plan" I heard Xander mumble to Buffy.

"You got any better ideas?" She snapped.

"Wait, a second... you guys hear that?" I interrupted them.

Everyone grew silent. I heard faint voices. It sounded like a group of people having a conversation.

"Hear what?" Xander asked after a moment of silence.

"That! Those voices!" I exclaimed quietly.

"Uh, Autumn, we don't hear anything." Dawn said.

I looked at Spike, who looked just as confused as the rest of the group.

"Wait, Autumn... you can talk with animals in your mind, right? What if it's the same thing with demons?!" Willow said, "They are a form of beast."

"Willow! I think you're right!" I whispered excitedly.

"Then it's a good think we brought you with us, Autumn," Spike said, staring pointedly at Buffy, who looked slightly irritated.

"That's great, but what can we do with her ability to hear voices?" Buffy asked.

"I can see what their plans or motives are. I can also coerce them to do whatever I want, if needed. But since demons are so powerful, I'm betting it will take a lot more concentration than willing a cat to do my bidding." I explained, "And I need to get closer."

"Okay, fine. You try to get closer and see what information you can get. If anything happens we will be close and you can call for help." Buffy said.

I nodded, took a deep breath, and proceeded forward into the cave slowly. I made my way in feeling along the walls, trying to see in the dark, wishing I had Mr. Naughty's cat night vision. I tried to concentrate on the vague voices I was hearing in my head, as well. I finally got close enough where I could see a light. A fire was burning and I almost gave myself away when I gasped in shock at the huge group of demons gathered around it. It wasn't just the size of the group, it was the size of the demons, themselves. They all had to be about 7 feet tall, big, bulky, slimy, with horns and spikes coming out of all areas of their bodies. I hid myself as best I could behind a big boulder/rock thingy, and tried to calm myself enough to concentrate on what they were saying telepathically to each other.

"We need to start the ritual soon," I heard one deep voice say.

"We still need a human sacrifice. If we don't have our human sacrifice by the next full moon, we will have missed our chance."

"Yes. We WILL have our sacrifice. Then we can open the next mouth to hell." I heard them say.

I gasped, "WHAT?!" It was at that point I was so shocked, I lost my balance and tripped over a small boulder I had been crouching behind and fell forward with a loud crash into a pile of rocks. For a moment, I couldn't move as I saw each demon's face turn to stare at me, their eyes all huge and glowing red. I froze in fright, but found my voice...so I screamed.

Within seconds, I heard a shuffling of feet and Buffy, Willow, Xander, Spike, Dawn, and Giles all came to my aid, with weapons in hand. Unfortunately, at the same time, the huge group of demons came right at us. Before I was able to stand, one had grabbed me around the waist and lifted me high above his head.

"NO!" I heard Spike's voice right as the demon chucked me effortlessly through the air like a fucking rag doll. I hit the cave wall and basically bounced off. When I lifted my head, I saw Spike fighting the demon that had just thrown me.

"Autumn," came Willow's voice, as she knelt down next to me, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think so," I replied, making sure none of my bones were broken. I hadn't hit my head, so I knew that was okay.

"If I use a spell to protect you, can you try to coerce the demons to go away, or kill each other...or something?" she asked.

I nodded, "I can try."

Willow helped me up. I heard her begin chanting in Latin behind me. As scared as I was, I tried to concentrate as hard as I could at trying to coerce the demons to retreat. It was working on a few of them. They seemed to give up mid-battle, looking confused, only to be slayed by Buffy, Xander, Dawn, Giles, or Spike. But there were so many of them, they just seemed to keep coming.

Suddenly, I heard Willow cry out and I glanced back at her. Once of the demons had knocked her down, breaking her spell protecting me. I turned my head back to the battle just in time to see Spike battling a demon a few feet away from me. He had been knocked down, as well, and the demon held a large ax above his head. At the same moment another demon was coming straight for me. I had a decision to make and only a split second to make it.

"No! Spike!" I cried out, and ignoring the demon coming at me, focused all my concentration upon the demon standing over Spike.

Spike looked up at the sound of his name being called and our eyes locked. I quickly coerced his demon to stop... just in time, the ax stopped just before hitting Spike's neck. Spike saw this and watched as the demon dropped the ax and ran away. He then turned his attention back to me. His expression was panicked as he cried out, "AUTUMN!"

That's when I felt it. Searing, blinding pain. I gasped and looked up to see a demon, with a large spike coming out of it's hand... a spike that had been shoved deep in my gut. He then ripped it right back out.

I'm not entiredly sure of everything that happened next. I felt dizzy and sick, and I collapsed, helpless heap on the ground. I remember hearing my name shouted over and over. I felt someone scoop me up and wrap their arms around me. I opened my eyes a bit and everything was blurry, but I could just see Spike's face inches from my own.

"Stay with me, Autumn. Please stay with me! I've got you. I'm going to take care of you..." I heard his voice.

"Spike..." I remembered mumbling, right before I blacked out.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

I woke up with a start. I was confused; where was I? I felt something cold on my hand. My eyes flew open.

"Spike?" I mumbled.

I was laying in bed...a hospital bed. Spike sat beside me. Had had been holding my hand.

"Autumn," he said, gently, "You're awake."

I started to sit up, but I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen and I cried out in pain. Spike stood up and touched my shoulder gently to guide me back down.

"You're hurt. You're in the hospital." He told me.

"What? What happened?"

"Do you remember anything?" He asked me.

I frowned, thinking hard for a moment, "I remember the fight... all those demons." I started, "I remember Willow was doing a spell to protect me so I could coerce the demons to retreat, but she got knocked down, so it broke the spell. Then I saw you... you had been knocked down too, and I saw a demon coming for you with an ex. But I coerced him at the last minute and he stopped."

"Anything else?" Spike prodded.

"Yeah. Another demon attacked me...um, stabbed me, I guess."

"You didn't notice him coming towards you?"

"Well, yeah, I did..."

"Why didn't you try to defend yourself?" Spike interrupted me, sounding irritated.

"Because... I saw you were in trouble..."

"So?" Spike suddenly snapped.

"What do you mean 'so?' I was trying to help you..." I said, confused by his sudden anger.

"I can take care of myself, Autumn. I didn't need your help." he snarled.

"Obviously you did. You almost got your head chopped off!" I said, growing slightly angry, myself.

"My point is, you shouldn't have been trying to help me, you should have been trying to help yourself. Defend yourself! I don't understand why you would see a demon coming towards you and ignore it to help me." He was pacing angrily back and forth as he yelled at me.

"Because I care about you! I was concerned for you more than myself! I didin't want to see you die!" I cried.

"But you didn't mind if YOU died." he said. I remained silent, fuming. I had just risked my life to save his and he wasn't grateful... he was being an angry ass-hole. "I guess I was right from the beginning," He went on, "You really don't care if you die. You WANT to die."

I glared at him. Was it true? I always did have a certain amount of self-loathing. I always felt disappointed in myself and with my life. Was Spike seeing something in myself that I had refused to admit for years?

"So what if I do? What does it matter to you?" I asked, quietly.

He shook his head, "Then what the hell am I doing here, Autumn?!" He started screaming at me.

"I DON'T KNOW! What are you doing here, Spike?!" I screamed back, flinching because my shouting cause me great pain in my stab wound.

"Why am I helping someone train who wants to die?!" He shouted.

"I don't know! Why are you?! Why waste time on me, when you could be spending time with your precious Buffy?" I yelled, clutching my stomach in pain.

"Wow! " He groaned, "I could kill you... wait, you might enjoy that..."

I could feel tears sting my eyes, "Why are you saying these things to me?" I snapped, looking away trying to hide my tears.

"Don't do that. Don't fucking cry.."

"Don't tell me what to do! If I want to cry, I'll fucking cry!" I shouted.

"Fine. Fucking cry. That will solve all your problems."

"Spike. GET OUT!" I screamed. I grabbed a cup that was sitting on my nightstand and chucked it in his direction. Unsurprisingly...I missed.

He shook his head again, "Fine. I'm gone."

There was a tray sitting near my bed with ice, water, and cups on it... he took it, lifted it, and threw it against the wall causing a loud crashing sound. He then started to walk out... right as a group of people walked through the doorway. Giles, Dawn, Buffy, Willow, and Xander stood looking confused.

"Uh...Spike?" Xander was the first to speak up.

Spike walked by him and bumped into him roughly mumbling, "Sod off," and he disappeared around the corner.

"Um, are we interrupting something?" Xander asked suspiciously.

"No, not at all! Come in!" I said, a little too cheerfully.

"Uh, what was Spike doing here?" Buffy asked quietly.

"Oh, I wasn't really sure, myself, but apparently, it was just to tell me how crappy of a fighter I am." I said quickly.

"Oh," Buffy seemed relieved by my response, and I instantly wanted to hit her. I wanted her to go away.

"Autumn, you know that's not true. He was just being Spike." Willow tried to comfort me.

"Yeah, he's always been talented at being a huge jack ass," Xander assure me.

"We brought you some gifts and stuff," Dawn interrupted.

She set a bouquet of flowers and balloons in front of me.

"Aww. That's really sweet of you guys," I thanked them.

We all chatted for a few minutes and finally the subject of the demon fight came up, "So while you were trying to read the demons' minds, did you happen to hear anything that could be of good use for us?" Giles asked me.

"Oh, yeah!" I cried, just remembering the whole point of our dangerous trip, "They were talking about opening another hell mouth here. They said they needed a sacrifice before they could complete the ritual," I explained.

"A sacrifice?" Buffy asked.

"Yes. A human sacrifice to complete the ritual."

The whole room became silent for a moment.

"Another hell mouth?" Dawn finally spoke up.

"Sometimes I really hate my life. Why can't things just stay boring?" Xander asked.

I shrugged helplessly.

"Well, at least we know. Maybe we can stop it." Buffy said.

After a little while Buffy, Dawn, and Giles left. Will and Xander stayed a little while longer.

"So, Autumn. I gotta ask, now that Buffy is out of the room. What's going on with you and Spike?" Xander asked, bluntly.

I had just been taking a sip of water, and started choking because I was so caught off guard, "WHAT? What are you talking about?!"

"Come on, Autumn. You don't have to lie to us. We're not going to say anything to anyone else." Xander continued.

"There's nothing going on between me and Spike." I said, irritably.

"It's okay, Autumn. You really can tell us." Willow added.

I looked at her incredulously, "Seriously, Willow? You believe this, too?!"

She shrugged, "Well, you tow do seem pretty chummy lately..."

"Come on, Autumn," Xander said again, "You two were all giggly and googly eyed at each other during that last Scooby meeting. Spike defended you against Buffy. And when you got hurt...you should have seen the guy... the man practically fell apart."

"What..." I started.

"And he was just in here when we got here." Willow added.

I sighed, "Alright, look... it's not what you guys think. We've been training." I finally admitted.

"Training?" Willow repeated.

"Is that a euphemism for something?" Xander joked.

I glared at him. "Funny. No. It's been quite obvious that as far as my slayer skills go... well, they're pretty shitty. Spike has been trying to help me. But that's it. We're just friends...I think. He just came in here and yelled at me, so now I'm not so sure." I explained.

"Oh," Willow and Xander looked a little less confused, finally. "What was he yelling at you." Will asked.

"He was mad that I was trying to help him instead of saving my own life." I replied.

Xander and Willow exchanged a look.

"What now?" I asked irritably.

"Look, Autumn, I know you say there's nothing going on romantically, but are you completely sure about that?" Xander asked me.

"Of course, I'm sure!" I snapped.

"Well, I just wanted to warn you, just in case..."

"Warn me?" I asked, angrily.

"I just don't think Spike is a good guy. I don't care if he has a soul or not. I've never gotten a good vibe from the guy. If you fall for him..."

"FALL FOR HIM?!" I cried.

"He will probably break your heart." Xander went on.

"You do realize this is the guy who died to save the world less than a few months ago, right?" I asked.

"That's got nothing to do with how he treats women." Xander replied.

"Oh, God, just stop, okay?! I'm not in love with Spike." I spat angrily.

"Okay, fine." The conversation ended there. And after that, I wasn't really in the mood to talk anymore, so the two of them left.


End file.
